In light of the rumor scandal, I wanted to dedicate a post just about
how I see Huang Zi Tao of EXO and why I adore and support him. (Sorry,
this is kind of long…)
I’d like to start by saying that
Tao has changed a lot.
I don’t know how he was like before, but from the frequency on shows of
him saying how much he has changed, I really believe him. How can
anyone not when a 19 year-old boy cries when he talks about this subject
on stage like that?
(gif origin:
tuthao)
The
recent rumors have said that he flirts around with girls a lot, and in
previous posts, I’ve seen that it was rumored that he had many
girlfriends in the past. It was rumored that he drank and smoked
occasionally because he was more of the rebellious type because his
parents did not give him enough love.
I can’t really believe these rumors. I would believe that
his parents are the strict type,
but not the kind to not give him any love. There’s no real evidence,
but perhaps his timidness comes from the parenting he received. I
believe they were strict, the kind that give tough love… the kind one
truly begins to appreciate once one is separated from them or when one
comes of age. But one thing’s for sure, he doesn’t come from a rich
family; that’s evident in his past Weibo posts in which he’s determined
to make money. He began working at the age of 16.
“Money,money,money,keep up the good work!” May,2009. (Tao’s weibo translated)
But the boy made money so that he could give gifts to his parents
also. Although they may have been strict to him, and maybe not give him
as much attention as normal parents would’ve, he still thinks of them.
Still wants to please them.
“I’m a waiter now,fighting! Dad,thanks for everything you have done for me. I love you!” Dec.2009
“I earned a handbag for my mother, and a pen for my dad. So happy!” Feb,2010
“Dad, our dream definitely could come ture. Mom, whatever you like I’ll buy for you!” Jan,2011
“Father and mother, I miss you so much.” Mar,2011
He’s a good son… caring a lot about his family.
However, one rumor I definitely can not believe is that, no matter what,
I can’t see him as a womanizer type because from what I’ve seen, he’s rather
socially awkward.
When around others, including his band mates, he’s often to the side
when they’re goofing off. He’s extremely honest as well. I imagine
womanizers to be more of the clever, trickier kind with great people
skills.
It also doesn’t bother me if he has engaged in drinking
or smoking (as rumored). That’s sort of normal coming from a teenager in
East Asia. Teenagers everywhere also try drinking too. (And drinking is
totally normal in East Asia.) But one of his Weibo statuses did say…
“I never smoke,I feel like vomiting even when I smell it.” May,2010
So maybe he hasn’t; maybe he has only tried it. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me.
But
his dark past filled with financial hardship, people telling him that
he can’t make it as a singer/rapper, perhaps strict parents… is this why
he seems to have such a dark look about him? He’s endured more than
many well-off kids have.
“The more you may feel like giving up, the more you can’t do
that. Think through your past, Huang Zi Tao, please never, never do
that.” Nov.2010
When I first saw the teasers and MV, I was so sure that Tao would be
badass, almost villainous (I tend to like the villain characters).
I
was totally surprised to find that he’s actually a big emotional cry
baby, but now that these rumors have surfaced, although I don’t believe
all of it, I can see why
he seems to have such a lingering dark aura about him, the same kind that changed people have.
It comes from his past.
Apart from the more negative rumors,
I believe that Tao has been an honest person since he was young.
Though he does try to take shortcuts sometimes (his cheating strategies
to get answers on shows like China Song or the one with the little
girls), I think everything meaningful that he says is the truth. His
tears are very real. You can’t fake that. I don’t think he would cry
just to gain popularity or get attention.
(gif origin:
myvillageidiots)
If there’s something he shouldn’t say, he simply won’t say it. I have a feeling he burdens himself by keeping a lot of things to himself (if not, he’d tell them to Kris).
It’s also quite obvious that
he’s very hardworking
for himself, his family, the people who depend on him, and to those for
whom he is thankful towards. In his Weibo acc, he posted a lot of
encouraging words to urge himself to keep going and work through his
strife.
“My future depends on 70% of my own and 30% of God.” April,2010
“Hold on! Huang Zi Tao, keep making effort! Do not disappoint
the people who expects you ! Your family, your teachers, your friends!” Aug,2011
The Tao I see now is
VERY attentive and caring to people, especially of those to whom he cares a lot about.
So, to begin, there’s the most obvious relationship:
Tao’s with Kris.
Tao
seems the most dependent on Kris. As I said before in a previous post,
Kris must’ve done something very meaningful for Tao to make Tao so
attached to him. There have been rumors that Tao was bullied (which I
would believe since non-Korean members are bullied more in Korean
companies), so I believe Kris protected Tao from the bullying (Kris is
tall and very strong; who would have the guts to bully him?).
Even predebut, Tao physically followed Kris very closely.
(gif origin:
exocaine)
He still does.
(gif origin:
seoulgenocide)
Tao said in the Song of China Show:
From when I first entered the company until now, he has taught
me very many things. More than anyone else. Even now, he’s teaching me a
lot of things and I feel like I’ve changed very much. To be able to
know such a brother, I am very lucky. Including the other members, they
are all people I wouldn’t want to be separated from
I feel like Tao feels like he owes Kris. I would even believe it if
Tao chose to give up his life for his older brother because his
attachment to him is that strong. Kris doesn’t seem AS attached to Tao,
so it’s like an older-brother-younger-brother kind of relationship.
(Edit: Though Kris does still care very much for Tao.) Tao has said he
hopes to grow up like Kris, and I think Kris will continue to serve as a
great role model for Tao. I believe Kris is the one responsible for
bringing Tao out of the dark, and I hope that Kris will continue guiding
Tao along their journey together as one band.
But it’s also pretty obvious that
Tao also values every member of EXO (K or M).
He cried when he talked about missing the K members, and he cried some
more when they were reunited for his birthday. Tao is a very caring
attentive character.
He’s the type that would say, “as long as everyone is happy together, I will be happy."
When people struggle through something together (training in this
case), it creates a type of bond that cannot be broken. It takes a lot
of pain to bring people as close as this, and these boys are all close
to each other, no matter what. They HAVE to depend on each other from
now on as well, because they’re as close to family as they’ll have. With
this type of thinking in mind, they automatically know that even when
they fight or dislike each other, they must learn to mend things and
remain at least on tolerable terms. From what I’ve seen, Tao is on good
terms with most, if not all of the EXO members.
Here, he checks on Lay.
(gif origin:
wintersmoon)
Xiumin and Tao both said that since they share a room, they often hug each other. You often see them walking together.
Tao and Kai did that whole hugging thing at the SMTown concert and they take photos together.
(sorry, not sure who the original poster is)
Tao and Baekhyun help each other translate.
(gif origin:
mintstars)
Chen has shown how possessive he is of Tao on shows.
(gif origin:
luhanlu)
(And if you’ve noticed, when in pictures, it is usually Tao who has his arms around the other boys.)
Tao basically has good relations with the other members.
Maybe he was bullied by trainees, but the EXO boys are his brothers.
Even if they aren’t super fond of each other (we’ll never really know),
they’ve endured so much together as a band so they are definitely at
least close to some degree.
There’s a rumor that Tao became more
shy and humble after trainees bullied him. I don’t know if he was like
this before debut (because of his parents, because of the ridicule he
received at home, because he’s simply like that) or because of the
trainees, but in either case,
he’s a very shy kid. I
know that deep down, he wants to be just as crazy as they are when
they’re having fun, but Tao stays to the side and watches rather than
engages with them. It’s not because he’s more mature or anything (Kris
says he acts younger than even the younger EXO members). When you see
the way he watches them, his eyes follow them and he looks happy, like
he wants to join but doesn’t know what to do or doesn’t feel he has the
right to. I know this because I am just like that.
One example
was the scene in China Song, ep 2 I believe when Kris was giving his
speech. All members crowded around Kris immediately, presenting all of
their microphones to him, but Tao remained standing where he was, unsure
of what to do. In the end, Kris motioned him to come stand by him.
In another example, during the whole karaoke vid of EXO for the SM.
Art exhibition, for example, while all the boys played around, Tao stood
in the back the whole time. While members like Baekyhun, Luhan, Chen,
and basically everyone else (except Lay too) pushed their way to the
front for camera time, Lay and Tao stayed in the back watching everyone
happily. Only at the end did Kai drag Tao forward and Chanyeol held Tao
in the front.
(gif origin:
luhans)
Also,
Tao’s stance and the way that he walks with his arms straight to his
side (usually when he’s with others and not posing for a picture) seem
to me a sign that he is unconsciously careful not to get into other
people’s ways,
careful not to be a burden onto others.
His stance isn’t the type that takes up space. He scrunches his shoulder
up and keeps his arms straight to his side and keeps his legs together.
Either that, or he stands at the end when they’re all together standing
in a line (likely because he lets everyone else stand where they want
first and adjusts to them accordingly), so he doesn’t bother anyone.
Such actions from him show that
he likes to put others before himself.
He lets the others shine and have their fun and only goes all out when he is put under the spotlight. He’s very thoughtful this way.
He not only loves his band members, but the
love that his fans give him
too. He has given speeches before about how much he wants to tell
everyone so many things but can’t (due to the company probably). And if
you watch more newer shows, he is becoming braver and braver in the way
that he interacts with fans. He’s the one who interacts with the
audience the most, asking them what they think, blowing them kisses,
high-fiving them, etc. (Despite this, I do still believe he’s socially
awkward because such a skill is probably part of their training.)
In conclusion, Tao may have had a more difficult past than
the other members, but he is a kind-hearted 19-year old kid. He may have
made mistakes, may have been bullied, but I am confident that he will
continue to grow exponentially with more experience and with the help of
the other EXO members (particularly his older brothers Kris
and Xiumin). In the future, I hope to see him step out of his shell more
and feel safe enough to be just as dorky as the rest of EXO. He has a
big heart and cares very much for those who are especially close to him
and to those who love him. Because he comes from a very humble
background, he’s a very grateful person and knows how to appreciate
those who have been gracious to him.
If you are good to him, he will be good to you.
Therefore,
although there will be people who abandon him at the surfacing of these
rumors, or people who just straight up dislike him for whatever reason,
no matter what (unless he personally disses me or my family or
something)
I will continue to support Tao and watch, as well as HELP, him grow up into a confident, strong person by remaining a loyal fan.
cr:Owner.. :)
I cried really hard after read this..Tao is just PERFECT. T^T
Khamsahamnida^^
